Dorks Unite


So last week I was faced with yet another example of why I don’t belong in LA. I was in the Whole Foods and She Works Hard for the Money, by Donna Summer was playing. So of course, I began to sing along and dance in the aisle. I was getting frozen food, ice cream, pasta, etc., while dancing and singing along. I was having a fabulous time.

I began to notice that folks were looking at me strangely. No one was joining in. No one commented about the song.

I became annoyed.

It then dawned on me, everyone at the store was too cool to dance to Donna Summer.

That is the problem with LA. Everyone is just too cool for school. I mean that both figuratively and literally.

We’ll get to the literal explanation in a later post, but for now I’d like to get back to dancing at the store.

You see, back in DC at my old shopping haunt, the 14th and P Street Fresh Fields, I danced to such artists as Chic, Earth, Wind and Fire, The Gap Band, and more. A particular favorite grocery store memory was reenacting Michael Jackson’s Thriller choreography while picking out cranberry juice with my brother. Whenever there was good music, there were people bobbing along, singing along, and dancing along to the beat. Even the employees joined in from time to time.

But then again, DC is a town for dorks, by dorks. I once had a half hour conversation at a bar with a guy who edits school textbooks. It was actually a really cool conversation. I didn’t give him my number, but the conversation was really interesting. I’ve actually discussed tort reform at a cocktail party. I had a good time at that party, as I recall.

But in a town of dorks (former student council presidents, lawyers, people who edit textbooks) no one really cares about looking cool at the Whole Foods. Actually, cool has been redefined: it’s cool to be smart. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s smart to know all the words to She Works Hard for the Money.